Haiz,now is 05-11-06 in the morning arnd 04:10am...haiz,reali feel like cryin,thought my miserable life can be numb for awhile lor...after svc juz now i so nice,treat ppl water cuz of their 'abundent' supply for me in the afternoon,felt very gan dong from Jenna's actions...after makan,i went meet the sin jia po short one=Serene,to accompany her go home cuz she sianz,then found tat she very sad...nvm,then Jenna felt so glad to had a Bro-inChrist like me,cuz she also have prob...then i tried helpin but she say she ok le after pullin my sleeve and holdin on my jacket,haiz,but her actions remind me of ...haiz,wish could be her...nvm...go back to wat happen,then my bunch of friends went to my house findin me for a gatherin,then i totally too shocked when they called me and wanted to ask me accompany them cuz they so long no contact me...thought could be a good path to ruin my life,or in a positive manner,gettin into the world but not off the world for the works of JESUS CHRIST...then went to Edward house,found out he oso sort of from CHC,W378,haiz,then 4 ppl play poker includin me...then they took out 'MARTELL',the strongest alcohol among beer and all...then who ever lost muz drink a mouth of it,then i took a sip be4 game start...but the taste too YUCKKIE...but still i like it too,cuz can numb myself off...then until 02:10am like tat my bro and the rest wan to go home first then i torn in my friend's house...but the timin so accurate lor,they down get caught by 4 policemen,then,sway sway be4 they come down,somebody threw a beer glass bottle down and hit a passer-by with a friend walkin outside the HDB...then the police thought was my friends and bro,then kanna screen downstairs,suddenly there was a call to Edward's house,my 'bro'(actually policemen) tell Edward go down,then Edward thought my bro play play nia,reply sayin,'dun lame la,raymond' then the policemen warned Edward he policemen...haiz,then both of us went down,the police screen me too...then ask wheather got drink beer or smoke...all say no and then say Edward and my bro drink nia,the rest all no...then alot things happen at there la,then i jiao ruan lor,cuz hit ppl head leh...thought will kanna charge if any of them did it,cuz we all together surely all die if 1 die...haiz,then stayed so long under the HDB,suddenly the assistant policemen report say caught a person who sould be the highly suspect of tat bottle,then is one indian guy...but face quite familiar,think stare be4 his arnd tat area,cuz when he was caught and comin down from lift,he stare at me when comin out lor...haiz,but one thing,PRAISE AND THANKS THE LORD AND MY GOD,when was detain downstairs,i reali sacre got ma fan lor,then i told myself this,'Lord,pls!help me,i'm in trouble and i'm sorry'...then lucky the real guilty person was caught there,or else they wan to detain us at police station,and also,although we drank 'MARTELL',the police still said they have no sufficient evidence to say the incident was caused by us when the suspect was caught...haiz,my life is spoilin and dun seems movin in a direction so clear,dun even know i'm at the good line or bad line or neutal line,wat am i now...?also,told myself this in service,make a large surface protection for the heart to protect all emtion to go into the real heart inside of me,and told myself to serve the Lord not 1-2 days effort but a real consitant servin,not very confident abt it...also,today is our church 2nd ARISE & BUILD,pledged $380 for a total of 6mths...haiz,dun wanna continue liao,nothin good fallin's onto me liao but a miserable one,i dun wanna suffer,i wanna DIE...can?!?!?!?haiz,haiz,haiz,haiz,dunno why nowdays at night slp bu liao...haiz,dun write liao le...Sianz ah 2days slp bu liao le...