Haiz,yesterday ah yesterday ah...Wat a long story to tell...hmm,went meetin Popiah then go jp together and meet up Terry,Serene,Emily...Then in train need try talk to one side with the boys one side with the girls then half-way in the train still kanna suan by Serene and Emily...Say i 'ren ge fen lie zheng'...Then reach there they kept complaining like a wasted trip cuz actually they could work 3 jobs today...So felt so guilty and also i ps them in the game and in the night when going home...FastForward bah,cuz i dun really wanna complain or judge in the game of how they behave,Hmm,i know the 2 of them dun really enjoy there,but thanks for really attending and not ps even you didn't enjoy it and sorry for tat i can't make thing go fun for the 2 of you...then in the end of the game,W369 nv won,then actually very dulan liao la...When finish awardin prize,they wan take photo,then didn't realize Jason.Ang was on my left and Pei Wen on my right...then Jason saw my expression like buai song like tat then try askin me...but i kept say nth la...But i know Terry and me sure du lan one...Then Jeremy try askin,Wei yi,Gabriel,Benjamin all te same,but some others thought was that we lost and i felt dulan,actually not lor...Since ppl wan think like tat,let it be and tat would make me a sore lose...But i dun give a damn to defend myself...So end up not joining them for dinner,then reach home never even bother bathe as i was soaked in the sea water...then at night 12plus Tiong called me and have a 49mins chat and glad to hear tat he was happy for that day...Glad he knows how to engcourage me and appreaciate me...Haiz,question,How is it like when you're down and being push around from finding a place,someone went lying to you or does not even lend his helping hands...Is this how a Christian should be like when playing game?Is that how our team treated every single group?-When will righteous win with glory and liars can't even lose with their dignity....? When will people learn to aprreaciate me and understand me,rather than you always a better of me without even a thank-you...?From now on,I'm not gonna be a mr.nice.guy,who ever piss on my ass shall get their butt kick by me...Wat for let myself suffer when evenyone gets to piss my ass,and I can't be myself and stay happy...Since my help was never aprreiciated,nor shall I appreaciate anybody...Let my lonely soul to be like I ever was,I shall stand aside and watch to fall and cry,I will not help but laugh at your own cause on your actions...I shall be so ready to condemn you like never before for every single mistake you made,like wat you did to me...

haiz,today thing so messy and fan...startin wan go off to bus stop to go westmall area to redeem my pay...but then Bernard an Terry kept callin me and tell me to hurry...then i know i also late le...some more cuz Chen bing to be late also,cuz he joinin us to...then lucky i haven go westmall,cuz actually i wan call Pei Wen and ask her some cheque question,in the end too early for her i guess,so nv call...but lucky Chen bing's father come back home...then he ask the father,then when i saw his father dunno why so wat like tat,then i actualli forgot to greet him...haiz,end up need go home to take bank book,then go take book liao reach the bank,go 1 counter down there the person so friendly to ask me wat i wan do,then told him everything liao he say cannot get money todae,he only maybe tml 2pm can get nia...then totally spoil the trip liao lor...no money how to shop...then Chen Bing say lend me first lor,so i say ok,then walk to mrt station,thne the both of us wan top-up ezlink card,suddenly i open wallet then rmb my card not with me,but with my bro...haiz,then need U-turn back again...take liaoz then Bernard and Terry still kept callin,then i like wan peng qui liao lor...this and tat,either nv bring or cannot get...so messy for today lor,then walk from 1 place to the other place for alot of times lor...qi si ren ah...then when reach jp liao hor,the 2 of them went hidin a board behind and when i call them they dun wan pick up...so lame lor,they go shout my name from my back and went hidin,then when turn my back they not there but i saw the legs within the board within seconds...hehe...then saw me comin towards them then they come out and stop playin...dot dot dot...haiz,when go up mrt,they say wait for the next train then i say ok lor,so i wait at the end of the station and look at the study corner direction...then start thoughts in my mind,then Chen Bing come,then talk for a few speech,i told him this:'Got fate sure can see her de'...then within moment,really saw her with Mun Yee and 2 guys behind walkin along the 'da long gou'...whether is tyco or not,i felt that maybe is fate lor...but still see they walk until so happy like tat,i thought to not really say anything,then soon when they cross road cannot see liaoz the mrt straight come into my sight...dunno why today so messy and complicated,haiz,then in train i keep on have teary eye and keep on fa dai,then i notice Terry and Bernard tryin to communicate,if i not wrong they wan try to make happy with lame joke...but then really can't hold myself up...so until when we reachin bugis,i told myself this,put others perpective before takin mine,so once i walk out of the train,i try talkin to force myself to be happy and show them i'm sort of alright...haiz,but actually no mood to shop liaoz,at first at jp in train i told them go play bball straight,so can go home faster...thene when go bugis street that time,i totally bu xinag mai liao lor,but actually got de,then Terry spent $40 on 2 shirts then Nard and Bing like blur blur like tat lor...then i bring them walk around...haiz,in the end,brought 1 long black pants without even tryin...now dunno whether to rejoice or to be sad...haiz,fa dai fa dai,ah dai ah dai,haiz...feel like sme sort of kong xu in my heart...some more now seeing Cheng Bing and his mom zai dou zhui...such a heart warmin family,but he muz know how to appreciate his mother's care...

haiz,tiring ah today...nv slp whole night,then today somemor my bro b'dae then dunno wanna be a good person or bad person leh...buy him present you tai hao,then dun buy you tai bad...haiz,have bro is so mai fan lor,wish can me du seng zi lor...haiz,then later need go bugis street to shop for clothes and pants,after tat still needa play bball at Jurong west Sec outside de bball court,100% gurantee plus chop i go home sure knock at any of the corner in the house also can de lor...but when wake up sure dunno how i will end up in another place or corner...haiz,2 days liaoz haven't go redeem my pay from the cheque...then later still needa go home and go take bank book sia...ma fan ma fan ma fan...sianz ah,later sure tired like siao liaoz...endin here...byebye...haiz,moment ago juz went to Bernard's blog and saw the last update which remind me of something which make me so dulan...fucking benjamin and hadzhiq better stop talkin nonesense hor,dun anyhow say Bernard is Jenna and me de baby hor,mother fucker,2 of you so prevertic and so annoyin to others already liao...wan say me better go keep yourself fit and come pit against me...na bei,chee bye...

haiz,so sad and xin ku yesterday...go get pay and shoppin,but meet arnd 12:40,but with Serene,they will nv be able to be punctual...then i wait for arnd 1hr plus like tat...so tiring,but also kinda of sad/good to refresh some memories from there when sittin at the stairs at jp...then when they late liaoz,Serene still wan tua me say is meet at bugis,then wan pretend i late not she late...but i keep say dun bluff lor,in the end she say she late...haha...but everytime we take train go to a place,all always sianz sianz one sia...then,since they dead dead i follow dead dead like sleepy wood...then until reach a location then everybody start gettin high and talkative...but everytime they talkative,i kanna insult for sure...then i very wat de lor...nvm,if they happy can liaoz...wat for 1 person spoil 3 person mood,then also,with Serene there,my mouth sure cannot win her one...cuz my mouth use to counsel ppl not shoot ppl one,but hers is use to shoot ppl one...nvm,then go vivo shop first before get pay,cuz the boss la,like very poor like tat,at night then can get pay from her...then they still give attitude,like kanna sai lor,but their ambition quite zai sia,cuz 5 youngster join together form a company to become a boss...youngster leh...zai lor...but still attitude kanna lan lor...then still,go vivo,then dunno decide eat wat,end up go 'the chicken shop' then we all see the menu so kong bu...then we waste our money on alot of dishes...cuz cannot change the food on the set meal,end up this and that we all nv eat...that we only eat chicken and beancurd...haiz,waste tua gay,some sort of popiah veggie,and a mango salad...the mango salad bluff ppl one lor...majiam shit lor...then Emily tu tu one,Serene dunno say wat,Emily pop back alittle and then make her cup of root beer spilt on her...stupid lor..reaction so big sia...then after that we went 'Candy Empire',then then 3 of them like see until gold...then Serene so clever lor,go ask me for $4 cuz last time when she come 'Emerge' i promise her a ice-cream,then in the end nv,but she still so mindful lor,like tat also rmb until now,almost 6mths liaoz loh...but nvm la,then Emily keep on wan di siaoz me then i have smart way to pay back her...tat is to make her hair stand like siaoz,then she keep run to Zhi lei and Serene lor,then Serene also so biased...go spank my back...wah,after tat,disaster starts to strike,they go in lady shop then i follow then go ESpirit then go try this try tat,then i end up takin almost all their bags,purse and harvest...win liaoz lor,like i'm a male maid sia,haiz,everytime kanna bully...then walk walk walk,last min Emily need withdraw money from bank then Serene dun wan to leave all the shops,then we gotta like drag her pull her tell her to go off...then we went searchin for POSB bank...haiz,then Serene wan use her card to deposit money,but she also quite sway...be4 her,the person use until then thing cannot deposit...then she alittle bit dulan,cuz she dun wan spend the money away,but in the end,also spent it away in the nite time...haiz,fast forward bah...when we go bugis,we go to the 'ICON' and then wait the boss come,actually say evening one,then end up give excuse say sai che...lame excuse,watch tv also know...haiz,then lucky tat time when i wan to take pay Serene was distracted by Zi Yang,cuz she wan beat him back,lucky she was distracted,or else she wan take my pay away,heng ah...wah,but Serene also a sad case la,the Zi Yang fa hou,then chia her back of her neck then she so pain lor...haiz,ke lian cong...but still i more ke lian...lol...then the zeng Ying so attitude lor,go and scold the 2 of them...but they nv notice she tiao Serene lor,but i did...so attitude lor...nvm,then we went off to bugis street,wah,there i suffer again,but also have some gain although i was so broke until i can't afford a single thing cuz the pay is cheque...but still,while sufferin there, i found so pants that i feel like tryin out or juz buy it,but its beyond my means...wah,after sufferin for so long ah,Serene brought us to 1 jean shop for ladies where she knew the owner,at there finally we sit there and rest and talk and they try out short pants and jeans...hmmm,not quite alot of fun things at the back...fastforwad again bah...then go home went back restin before doin anythin,then Cheese go and sms me to call him,so i did after a period of time,cuz i didn't notice he smsed me...didn't know he was gonna give me a job...then i sms the person,the person reply until like wat sia,reply 'oic' how i reply back the person,toopi lor...haiz,then went conferencng Nard and popiah to see how they were doing that day,then after callin,went using the dye Emily gave me to dye my hair in midnight 1plus-2plus...then at first see my hair coulour obvious,cuz late at night,so when got light very easy to spot colour,but today morning went looking at my hair like quite dull unless go look carefully then got...sianz lor,dunno good or bad leh,then Chen bing at first say cannot see,cuz juz now rainin sky grey grey...now in his hse dark dark then light shine in and he say a little bit obvious...haiz,nvm,quite a normal day bah for today...but 1 not so good and not so bad thing happen,then job person called me,then wan this qualification wan that qualification,but he like wan me do leh,cuz when i say see first he say why need see first...then pay is higher,location is farest...1 end of singapore to the other end of singapore sia...sad to say...T.T...then also,when the person say kim mo then i blur blur say yes,then he say i dun take in kim mo one,cuz i nv listen properly,also not my fault cuz he talk like Jay like tat,blur blur one,Zhi lei also know how he talk cuz she got call the person also...hmmm,seems like a new challenge gonna arise...haiz,day after day,i know you're talkin to me,your words speak louder than this world,and when i pray,your spirit overwhelms me,reveal the things that i muz know,show me how to live,teach me how pray,let all i think and say pls you Lord,show how to live,teach me in your ways,so i can walk with you all my days...hmm,dunno why suddenly felt to write this lyrics from church songs...nvm,dun care wats the reason is...but still suddenly felt God is good,cuz me and the 3 of them felt like quitin then like no other job we can find...at first have de,sum more 12 vacancy,in the end the person in charge de boss say dun accept ppl liaoz...haiz,then now God gave us a waiter/waiteress job...but location and pay and dressin look like a challenge to us...maybe is when i pray and when we hope for a job,we nv consider wat we really wan,juz kept hopin for a change in job and that all...nvm,it's alright...juz like wat Zhi lei said,every job got its own challenge...hmmm,gotta go off be4 popiah's mom get back,cuz she not feelin well and i dun like to go ppl house with parent as usual...so tat's it for today and yesterday...byebye,take cares friends...z -.-" z.../\ . /\...T.T.../\ . /\...z -.-" z...

haiz,today such a good day but also a raining day...Bernard ah Barnard...guess he haven't counsel ppl with so much as i does with others ppl prob and my own prob...hmm,nvm,can't blame him...this gonna be learn my struggles and trying...sianz ah,finally todae slp 10hrs ah,but still feel very tired...i wan to dye my hair,Emily better lend dye,or else become i die...sianz lor,get pay still need to plan buy this and tat,in the end also like nv earn...wah,then now in Chen bing's house,then he and his bro so good lor,treat me makan pizza,wah,my stomach,shoik ah...but very pai sei leh...nvm,they both very good...

haiz...kanna bully like hell yesterday by Serene,Emily,Zhi lei...oh ya, suddenly,remembered abt 2 days ago sharin with Emily and Zhi lei abt childhood...haha,how bad or how good their childhood is,can't be compare to me...hmmm,attitude can cover up one's past...haiz,yesterday ah yesterday ah,so so so sad...morning thought i late again to meet them,cuz i rush off from service half-way through to go work...haiz,felt quite bad leavin service like tat,spend 1hr30mins to Praise & Worship,watch CHC highlights,Communion,Ochestra by CHC,Offerings msg,Praise song then i leave juz right b4 preachin was abt to start...then reach bugis tat time call the short short one,Serene,then she dun wan pick up,then call Emily one the Serene pick up say she's playin game still on the way...zzz...then when reach 'ICON' we all started doing our work,then we tried pumpin balloon...but start nobody knows how to make the air come out then Emily make a guess and was right but i said wrong...zzz...zzz...zzz...but when we started pumpin,it was quite fun to play with rather than workin with it...then i thought i so pro,nv make any balloon burst...then when the attitude prob de zhen ying come down,all my balloon started to burst,then she there 'F' here 'F' there...say to big,then i pump dun too big she say the size ok...very short while she say dun so samll...toopid lor...then the flirtin terrence so big mouth,say wan burst how many more balloons...hmm,too bad my ears got shit inside cannot hear it,cuz it was Emily who told me...haiz,flirt ass with 2 big goldfish eyes,waxed face,hotdog lips...hmm,guess his mouth is so big dued to hotdog lips,cuz nv talk he will die like tat...haiz,after doing tat for arnd 1 and 1/2 hr,Zhi lei keep complainin wawn stop,but the both us dun wan...cuz we think quite fun and we come for short while so fast go 'chi she'...but eventually after a while we went 'chi she' for dunno how long leh...then go eat laksa,then Zhi lei suddenly say toothache,the weird thing she always forgot she got toothache then keep order liaoz then like very hard to makan...then Emily and me keep quan her beeter go to sch dentist or outside,but outside they anyhow go do do do,then charge you until very exp...then i also diaoz lor,eat half way i talk until with very weird voice,cuz my throat too dry...then when go off,Emily saw guardian shop got hair dye offer,but is like their offer is still exp leh...the i keep ask Emily share hair dye,hehe,cuz no money buy hair dye...then she say at home she got 2dye left when Zhi lei went to toilet...then she say ok to give me,but then she keep say me lor,say i nv ask bring...dot dot dot...then we 'chi she' until dunno how long leh,even go mrt stairs to sit,then keep change to another stairs cuz no air-con...then in the end still go back to original stairs with some additional food of sotong balls...then we help singapore save paper by recyclin our flyers paper...hehe...quite fun...then 6 plus like tat meet Roger,Jenna,Jeremy then pretend dunno them and brought them to 'ICON' to show the boss we got work de...then we quickly went down slack and i sms Jenna to tell them go look arnd first...then we went to BK,at there very,cuz the Zhi lei,Emily and me we sort of diz siao each other,then got 1 times i diz siaoz Emily until gong tio bia...then got 1 koc sound product then she got so pain...haha...that was so fun...haha,then still got so many fun thing going on...nvm,juz fast forwarded to night...we went back slackin arnd 07:45pm...then the Zhou hui keep on say i chou nan ren,dot dot dot,guess some guys make her angry then i kanna bah,cuz i the only guy among all...haiz,sad to say for tat time...then we go buy bread at bread talk then end up i ate arnd 3 bread,actually 4 but 1 is cheese,so i nva ate it...cuz Zhi lei say toothache again,then push everythin to me...then Emily very smart lor,keep on diz siaoz me then go to Serene dere to use her as sheild and say the story the other way round...haiz...then at night in train the worst...kanna insult until wan peng qui...haiz...but nvm bah,when was walkin home,i thought of this,if i let the 3 of them or others make joke out from me by themselves,it's alright...wat for be angry when there's more than 1 ppl who is happy?wat's the point out of it...so,juz take easy lor...since they so happy,i also dun wet their blanket as a spoiler...

haiz,tiring day again...wah...yesterday rain for a lastin hours of 5...sianz lor...always kanna bully by the 3 of them,haiz,so dao mei,cuz i the onli guy there...then the Emily always threaten me say tml no need ocme work liaoz...zzz...zzz...zzz...then Serene keep on bully me,haiz,so sad...she so small size and short still wan me xchange my umbrella with her samlly umbrella...then sway sway we keep walkin into flooded area...then my shoes totally wet liaoz lor...then my jeans also wet,haiz...but nvm...cuz 2 ppl also kanna...Zhi lei got her jeans wet and Emily got her shoes rot...haha...rainin also not a bad thing...can go chi she for dunno how many hours...haha...pro ppl work less time and get same pay like those who nv chi she...haiz,but notice this thing has been so true,when my days are so fun and good,ppl who are near me sure kanna bad day de...like Serene,Bernard and Jeronmy between Kang hua...haiz...so sad to be happy...haiz,but the 3 of like raining,cloudy,dullish spirit...go 2 times rain 3 times...haiz,sianz...got more to say de,but now gettin late le...need rushin off to meet Jason Ang and go service liaoz...rushing off le...byebye,take guys,bad will soon be over and mine is near...the day your trouble is over,the day will be my day of suffer...

Haiz,so tiring...todae nearly went back slpin after i woke up,lucky nv...or else later will kanna scold by Serene,cuz late need deducted $50 from pay...haha,yesterday thought i late by 5mins,then Serene,Zhi lei ,Emily all more later than me...So so late...haha...hmm,then yesterday give flyers very xin ku,sun shine then rain then sun shine again then suddenly rain cats and dogs...wah,siao lor,they i say i red red yesterday but the rain so weird lor,rain 2 times in a day...Ri sai yu ling,so ke lian de me,haha...then i take so thick but give out fast without cheatin...then everytime give finish,i go find Zhi lei help her give,cuz she same lane from me...then both of us finish give le go finish le go find wu le le de Emily....haha,she so noob,we 2 finish le she still haven't...then i told them go rest the rest of the flyers i help them give finish...then suddenly Zhi lei stomach pain,then Emily say they both go back to 'ICON' first,then i say ok...but when i reach 'ICON',they still haven't reach...haha,i become super fast liao...but also very ke lian,kanna bully...then 2nd time rain,i kanna the rain until like luo tang ji...so ke lian,but lucky today nv get sick...but the 'ICON' also very wat lor,wan we all take umbrella to shelter ppl from arcoss street to 'ICON',like pei bully lor,underpaid sia...we do flyer become until got umbrella service,lol...haha,then arnd 6 plus...our last trip to give flyers is the best part...we go arrange arrange arrange in front of the boss the bookmark and paper,when we go,we went to Bk to slack and makan...then Zhi lei si bei pro at there lor,cuz she got work there be4...order until won't chi gui de...then when we walkin off,i lump 1 whole stack of flyers into the Bk bin...then wan lump another stack into 7-eleven bin one,but there too many ppl liaoz,so cannot...but we still managed to get the stack into some other bin with some other funny ways...haha...then the last stack i kanna bully again,they go slack i give finish le then find them...then we 3 go to Serene shop to wait for her,then i kanna bully again...haiz...so ke lian...
Since you are standin up,i should not disturb liaoz...jia you bah...haiz,now signin off and going off to be bullied agian...haiz,T.T... Whoever is free,come bugis find me and get my flyer and go to the shop 'ICON',and you can simply redeem a T-Shirt at there with the flyer...

Haiz,rushin morning...rush to Chen bing's house...then after few mins need rush off jp meet Serene to go bugis to work as flyer....haiz,not bad liaoz...got money earn happy liaoz...btw,Alvin,you say i love mooney...With money,not everything is possible,but without money,nothing is possible...cuz this world is to realistic and practical...

Haiz,fuckin dulan...Dammit,yesterday actually wan rest at home,1-To rest and have a break for myself,2-dun wanna to see mother fuckin bastard at vivo city to celebrate Bernard's Birthday...Sianz lor,kan ni na bei phua chee bye,those mother fuckers which is was fuckin prevert ass-hadzhiq,2-benjamin...2 most mother fucking ass...dammit na bei,see me come to vivo not happy is it huh,as if i know you 2 so well ah,see the first moment juz come bammin into me as hard as possible rite...?also,say wat treat Bernard watch movie,pui ah!,end up Bernard payin for himself,nv do anythin still wan beat him,wu ji beat me la...alos,benjamin,act wat shit,tell emily you retain,my ass la...want to get close to her say la,a toad wishin for a swan...kan ni na, you all better fuck off with all your rubbish la...especially sayin Bernard zhou gou...if Bernard zhou gou you will be the biggerst in ZHOU GOU...understand...noob...dun bully the weak la...wu ji i give u and hadzhiq bully me la,wu ji first boh...boh ji go home eat ur own balls up la...dammit...
Dun think mother fuckin stupid hor...ni na bei phua chee bye,i was toleratiin nia hor,if you wan to eat my fist,juz come and piss my wrist to hurt teeth...na bei,if not for 3 thing i beat the 2 of u up there liao hor,1-Promise i not to fight,2-Jenna and Bernard stopped me hor,3-give you all face hor...kanni na,treat people with respect can boh,dun think i become christian cannot turn bad or cannot eat u all up hor,my limitation for you 2 bastard is up liao hor...piss my wrist and be ready to eat my fist...wan gang bang me also can one,or else others say i eat samll fry...dun think i dunno how you all treat Alvin,Sin Ren or Bernard hor...wu ji dun bully la,give me a time place date la,i tio with you all la...pui!lump sub kia,wu ji come la,i wait for you hadzhiq and benjamin...not happy with i wrote here,juz do wat you did to alvin,tell everybody dun talk to me dun be my friend,only if u can,i dare you to it bastards...rich ppl like benjamin are wastrels,preverts like hadzhiq-sicko...ni na ma,if i ever lay my hands on the 2 bastard like you 2,i will wanna see blood shed be4 i'm gonna stop....1 tips for you,wanna gang bang me,better go to gym and keep urself fit first,also,grow up bah-aka-NOOBs...try anything funny on me,so be it...BRING IT ON,I'm WAITIN!dun be a hum ji kia hor...Haiz,i'll stop right here for now,till the next time...and hadzhiq you better stop then pin master subject on me and all the rubbish,I'M WARNING YOU NOW,and benjamin,dun anyhow tell Barnard dun be light bulb,Jenna is just a Sister to me,the both of you dun any how spam your shitty nonesense one my reputation,jackass,fuck-off now...last thing,for so long i tolerate,
put it nice,i am tryin to save this friendship,put it bad,i dun wan ppl say i bully weak,wan juz come gang bang me lor...haiz,today wake up so dulan,still need to vexed abt those bastards...then need rush to meet tiong go gym,so tired,slpt at 3 plus,woke 07:30am...then rush gym,rush home,rush chen bing home,now need rush to douby ghuat to play pool sianz ah...booked up everyday,no enough rest...sianz...better watch out bastards,better not provoke me the next time when u see my ass,or else i dunno wat will happen to your face,understand bastards?dun ever try to bully the weak like Alvin Sin Ren Bernard in front of my eyes,you'll nv suceed...if sore loser with my comments and attitude,go join gang to get noob protection for your ownself in order to win me very fast by out-numbering me...pain ass holes which eat the shit i buffer out...

Haiz,yesterday 3days nv slp,when home knock out on the sofa,woke up on the bed,dunno how i appear on the bed by crawlin or walkin also dunno...Haiz,argue argue aruge,i have no earthy family i have no earthy home,only a hotel with supply and money...I only have a real and spiritual home in church and a spiritual family with W369....haiz,sianz...too much 'MARTELL',too little rest,as a resulted,havin flu like a chicken havin bird flu...eyes are sore...haiz...sianz...i dun wanna get sick...Haiz,unfair family,unfair live,unfair treatment,unfair world...Gotta pay for a praice tat mmay even take your life in something of wat you really wan...

Haiz,now is 05-11-06 in the morning arnd 04:10am...haiz,reali feel like cryin,thought my miserable life can be numb for awhile lor...after svc juz now i so nice,treat ppl water cuz of their 'abundent' supply for me in the afternoon,felt very gan dong from Jenna's actions...after makan,i went meet the sin jia po short one=Serene,to accompany her go home cuz she sianz,then found tat she very sad...nvm,then Jenna felt so glad to had a Bro-inChrist like me,cuz she also have prob...then i tried helpin but she say she ok le after pullin my sleeve and holdin on my jacket,haiz,but her actions remind me of ...haiz,wish could be her...nvm...go back to wat happen,then my bunch of friends went to my house findin me for a gatherin,then i totally too shocked when they called me and wanted to ask me accompany them cuz they so long no contact me...thought could be a good path to ruin my life,or in a positive manner,gettin into the world but not off the world for the works of JESUS CHRIST...then went to Edward house,found out he oso sort of from CHC,W378,haiz,then 4 ppl play poker includin me...then they took out 'MARTELL',the strongest alcohol among beer and all...then who ever lost muz drink a mouth of it,then i took a sip be4 game start...but the taste too YUCKKIE...but still i like it too,cuz can numb myself off...then until 02:10am like tat my bro and the rest wan to go home first then i torn in my friend's house...but the timin so accurate lor,they down get caught by 4 policemen,then,sway sway be4 they come down,somebody threw a beer glass bottle down and hit a passer-by with a friend walkin outside the HDB...then the police thought was my friends and bro,then kanna screen downstairs,suddenly there was a call to Edward's house,my 'bro'(actually policemen) tell Edward go down,then Edward thought my bro play play nia,reply sayin,'dun lame la,raymond' then the policemen warned Edward he policemen...haiz,then both of us went down,the police screen me too...then ask wheather got drink beer or smoke...all say no and then say Edward and my bro drink nia,the rest all no...then alot things happen at there la,then i jiao ruan lor,cuz hit ppl head leh...thought will kanna charge if any of them did it,cuz we all together surely all die if 1 die...haiz,then stayed so long under the HDB,suddenly the assistant policemen report say caught a person who sould be the highly suspect of tat bottle,then is one indian guy...but face quite familiar,think stare be4 his arnd tat area,cuz when he was caught and comin down from lift,he stare at me when comin out lor...haiz,but one thing,PRAISE AND THANKS THE LORD AND MY GOD,when was detain downstairs,i reali sacre got ma fan lor,then i told myself this,'Lord,pls!help me,i'm in trouble and i'm sorry'...then lucky the real guilty person was caught there,or else they wan to detain us at police station,and also,although we drank 'MARTELL',the police still said they have no sufficient evidence to say the incident was caused by us when the suspect was caught...haiz,my life is spoilin and dun seems movin in a direction so clear,dun even know i'm at the good line or bad line or neutal line,wat am i now...?also,told myself this in service,make a large surface protection for the heart to protect all emtion to go into the real heart inside of me,and told myself to serve the Lord not 1-2 days effort but a real consitant servin,not very confident abt it...also,today is our church 2nd ARISE & BUILD,pledged $380 for a total of 6mths...haiz,dun wanna continue liao,nothin good fallin's onto me liao but a miserable one,i dun wanna suffer,i wanna DIE...can?!?!?!?haiz,haiz,haiz,haiz,dunno why nowdays at night slp bu liao...haiz,dun write liao le...Sianz ah 2days slp bu liao le...

haiz,sianzation ah...1day1night nv slp liao...now very tired and weary,but also very sad...haiz,wish tat i could be knock down by a vehicle today and slp physically on this earth forever and to go heaven for a enjoyin paradise...i'm a FOOL of all fOOls,DUMMY of all DumBies...haiz,i'm juz a FOOL in everyone eyes,didn't know tat it was all my wisful thinkin...haiz,seems like i really bian ben like wat Serene said...can't do thing with a startin and endin,haiz,stupid stupid stupid,wake urself up bah,do you have a brain for yourself?dumb ass...haiz,later still gotta go cell group and service,hope i won't fall a slp...this world will juz never seems bright for me,is there really a space and purpose for me on this earth or there's juz death layin ahead of me or there's juz hurtz comin in i wanna be emotionally dead,i dun wanna shed a single tear,i dun wanna be alive...haiz 2emptiness in juz one day,cuz yesterday noon,Julia was sent off at the airport,at night sat on the bed thinkin and cryin of somethin after receving sms and chattin on the phone from 2 ppl...haiz,regerted 2 things tat i nv done,missed 2 things that was done onto me,wanted 2 things i never had,hated 2 thing tat i've done...haiz,guess i can't express much juz on this blog,words can be touchin but can't be expressive,but wat to do?
disappointment,
rejection,
loneliness,
abandon,
hurt,
tolerance,
endurance,
bitterness,
sufferings,
limitations had offered to the highest level,but all this waves and tsunamis kept comin in to force its limitation to be vent out soon on anybody who piss my ass off,if not the one who will be down will be me...i only wan to go heaven and not be off a good person with good limitation,if anyone of you wish to hurt me piss me kill me or do anything onto me,juz come,but pls,make sure one thing,take it as a request,make sure wat you do will cause me to DIE in a result...thank you,or you'll regret...nth much to say le,hope tat later people there with no brains dun piss me off with their brainless words,either they suffer or i go home...that's all...

Haiz,such a bright and cheerful morning for normal ppl...But for me is,VEXED,VEXED,VEXED,VEXED...Haiz,feel bad right in the morning when i woke up...Haiz,yesterday night watchin tv,then my bro suddenly come back and then watch 'shaman king'...Watch until yi ban the tv like siao siao like tat,cuz of the tv cable chao da...Then my Bro like very worried abt it and go and look,then i say is wire chao da,then my mom like very worried lor...Totally 'F' her off lor,cuz when i told her long ago,she give me tat dai dai look and never even give a 'F'ing damn abt it lor...Judging from this is totally biased lor,wat i said is bullshit,no one hear,when my Bro come back,talk the same shit as i spoke,my mom treat it like treasure...Wat the 'F' is this?VEXED VEXED VEXED VEXED...Then now straight in the morning i pung sei tiong,cuz in frist i say go gym with him,then yesterday night very dulan then train dumbbell from 12:00am -01:00am(a little bit qi siao to do this at tat hour,samll kids pls dun try this at home,it will cuz disturbance to your family,then very tired and fan,cuz a lot probs happen...Relationship probs,Finance probs,Relative probs,Friends prob,then now in the mornin need go SMU play bball,totally no mood lor...VEXED VEXED VEXED VEXED...Then in the evening,1 cg member,Julia,is leaving for India from a school event(quite fortunate,sch only choose 5 student among all),then need send her off at airport this evenin,4pm plus,at terminal 2...Haiz,no time to let me take a breath,but nvm,in the morning let me fan whole is a good thing,like tat would anything how think bah,like last night is 1 good example liao...Think for dunno arnd 3hrs before i slept at 02:30am...My life quite weird leh,sch day 7hrs slp,now holiday i can't get my slp...Haiz,later gotta have a lot of things to handle,and "muz handle than like glass,it's fraglie,treat it with care"...Haiz,how to really communicate with relative leh?Relatives have prob i only can listen and worried but i can't help...Haiz,is it better to watch them struggle in their prob or i should try crackin the nut in my brain?...Hope tat i could slp in a time when there's peace,comfortability,relaxation and totally rest in that peace without wakin up with thing to handle in an early age...Come to think of a positive manner,this shows that i responsible and ppl find me comfortable to help...Haiz,but compare to the negative one,i still need to find loads of positive answer to prove to myself tat i muz think positively...Sianz,10:30am meet at City Hall,then i now still in popiah hse,then he haven't bath haven't do anything,so smelly...Haiz,surely late for sure de lor...Haiz,stop here le bah,VEXED VEXED VEXED VEXED...At least when i go off,still have something tat really cheered me up after chatting with Cindy...Haiz,but still there's more waitin for me to handle...Gonna stay dude,but I'm too weak...Haiz,VEXED VEXED VEXED VEXED...Wah,chat with her until very late liao,now muz stop blog first liao...ByeBye!!!Take cares friends...YIPPEEEEE,very happi be4 going out...

Haiz,todae so sianz leh,can't my life move to a point tat everyday is like a movie which is so excitin,touchin,loveing,caring,so full of missions everyday,full of ideas daily...09:30am like tat Tiong sms me to chat with him den i not enough slp cuz I slpet arnd 04:30am...But still,to be a good person,i called him and had a chat with him on the phone...Chat like 30-60mins like tat jiu kup le then i sms Popiah to see wheather he at home or not,but he in sch,damn sianz lor...Then got a msg from Jason Ang abt Terry,cuz Jason said he got a msg from Terry and sayin he is feelin to backslide...So I tried being a good Bro last night to even went down to JP arnd 9pm-11pm plus to chat with him but Jason call off this idea,as he find tat Terry might not wanna talk to him abt his prob for time being and this would cuz my transport home to be unavailable as the last bus would probably leave arnd 12:00am,so,didn't met up eventually...So this morning was plannin how to meet up with Terry and how to help join his fight in this spiritual welfare as ARISE & BUILD is coming up this sat...But Terry didn't wan to pick up calls or reply msg,so i msg him a while later to see wheather he was willin to let us help him,so,finally he relpied sayin,'other day',and tat was it...So i told him to take care and let me know his prob when he is ready...Haiz,then another person called and kup within a second...That person was Serene Lim and asked me to chat with her cuz she in MRT very sianz(another one find me to accompany),then chat chat chat then she thought i walk together with Kai ling,haha,so lame lor...Then I tried gettin lobang from her but mainly all for girls one,haiz,then talk talk talk until her mother,say her mother very lame very childish but i found her quite fortunate to have a mother being so compassionate and open to her even had a weekly of $50 to spend-NOT INCLUDED OF TRANSPORT EATIN OR ANTHING--'JUX FOR SPENDIN LEH,the food all this can claim extra,so good lor,unlike me,EVEN have $50 a week sure include everything tat i muz spend outside de lor...But she quite sensible too,cuz now she workin then haven't took money from her mum for a while le,so,quite independent bah...Then nth to do go meet up with Popiah at BBT shop to go to his house when he was dismiss...Haiz,then found this thing very weird,when there's problem,it comes together at once,when there a need for a help,it comes together too-juz like today,early in the mornin my brain still restin I still slpin then get msg and calls...Haiz,then going to enous in abt 30mins time cuz going to Gabriel's house for prayer meetin with those who are available due to Arise & Build,ppl will start to have probs and difficulties to come to CHURCH...PS:My mind wanted Pride,My heart wanted YOU,in the process of this,I lost my way and lost the basic bond that should had between YOU,all i can do now is,wait...Friends,get this straight,Pride gets you no where and gets you to no success in life in anything you wanna do...And carin for people arnd you can help maintain friendship,gaining friendship,there's no harm to care for your friend,so,be nice to each other,dun care of me ofwat others arnd you say. or judge..Speakin of this reminded Bernard's case,i've being consolling him can counselling for a period of time cuz he retain as a matter of fact,but then this bunch of jerks or assholes said things like i'm gay,blah blah blah,so wat,i didn't give a damn to nonesense and continue to care for him and with this,our bond of brotherhood is strong among Terry Him and Me...But the sad thing for him is tat his B'dae is near and he wants to be a nice guy to treat everybody he knows,but he had nv consider who have being true as a friend to him and who have being like a mother pi pi ba pi pu friend towards him...Really hope he knows who to treat and who not treat cuz he dun really have that much of wat can really afford and it would be unfair for those who treat him with care...Or he juz treat jerks with garbage trash and spend time with people who is true to him at sentosa to celebrate his's B'dae...this can help cut down all the cost for buyin food for garbage jerks for him,as true friends would rather spend time and give present to him rather than demandin a nice and expensive meal...Questions,Wat you gain after a nice meal beside havin your stomach filled?Did really gain true satisfaction from friendship meal or rather tat it juz your stomach fill?Is this wat true friend really mean?Friends,dun let greed and desires take over your mind and heart,you'll start to take only the advanstage from a person rather then being a friend...Hmm,after being such a naggin person,gues i'm stoppin here...Take care and really be nice to other...Weird weird de me stop here liaoz...